If you’re reading this the chances are you’ve been wrestling internally with something for quite some time and, despite your best efforts, it just isn’t shifting. This may be very frustrating for you, particularly if you are used to working things out and moving forward. Very often this is a sign that the solution does not lie at a cognitive level – if it did you would have found it by now!
The purpose of the kind of coaching I do is to shine a light on what is going on for you at various levels; then establish what lies in the way and where you would really like to go in your life or career or relationship. Then we work together over a period of time to meet these goals, taking care to ensure they really fit with who you are and what really matters to you.
Generally the structure for our coaching alliance is a set of 6 sessions of 1 hour each spread over a couple of months. This allows time for you to process material which will enable you to meet your goals. However, quite often we find other goals come into view which may require work at a different or deeper level. Some clients prefer 1.5 or even 2 hour sessions, which I can usually accommodate. While a gap between sessions of a week usually feels right for both parties there can be real benefits from spacing out the meetings at certain stages.
Most clients prefer working face-to-face in the same space and generally I would say this offers the greatest potential for the coaching alliance. However, I do increasing amounts of work overseas and have found that coaching over Skype or Zoom can be extremely effective as well as being highly convenient, cheaper and greener.
I always offer a free, face-to-face or Skype/Zoom, exploratory consultation of 1 hour so that both parties can get a sense of what the coaching work is for and what it could involve.
My role is threefold: to offer a confidential space for you to speak into, a creative one in which we can explore the territory and define goals together, and a purposeful one in which to assist you in achieving your goals.
There is always another way to look at something. I believe in bringing many different perspectives to the coaching alliance, as well as helping clients understand themselves psychologically. One of the key areas we explore is your family of origin and how your early life experiences have impacted you. This involves looking at intergenerational and transgenerational influences (a relatively new academic field) that lie in your family system. As ‘complex open systems’ we human beings are connected at all levels, so my 20 years of working with eastern and western bio-energy traditions can offer valuable, intuitive perspectives. We don't have to work with the unconscious or the chakra system, but sometimes this may be a necessary way to bring about the change that is required. Every one of us is unique so there is never a set way of working.
My clients tend to be people from a range of backgrounds with high intelligence and a strong sense of ethics who are seeking meaningful change in their professional or personal lives.
Interesting statistics about my clients
Female 57%; Male 43%; Ex-boarders 31%; People of dual heritage or those in a relationship with someone from a different race or culture: 59% (of whom BME 19%); CEOs: 8%
Since 2014 I have consistently allocated 10% of my coaching hours to those on no or low incomes. I see this as an important means of staying connected.
Over the past 30 years a sizeable body of theoretical work has accumulated detailing the complex symptomatology of ex-boarders, both male and female. There are now quite a number of practitioners, including me, who have been trained in offering therapy for this group of people. Boarding School Syndrome has many parts to it: a cutting off from the emotions, which happens early as a survival necessity; the development of an adaptive and frequently elusive, strategic self (since the authentic one is not being held and nurtured), a detachment from one's genuine personal needs, all of which is a response by the child to an abandonment by his or her parents at an early age. There are 3 courses run annually by Boarding School Survivors, and I am in training to facilitate the Men's Groups.
In line with required practice for psychosynthesis-trained coaches, I meet my Supervisor monthly to review my practice.
I am based in London and use several locations including SW16, SE1 and SW7.